Procreation is a natural phenomenon. No special efforts are required for it. Just as animals give birth to several little ones, so does man. However, man should ensure that his children are full of virtues; he should not procreate just for the sake of procreation. We spend many hours selecting a sari till we get one of our choice; but it is unfortunate that man, who is so intelligent, tends to neglect how he can mould his child into an ideal child.
Creating pure, intelligent, virtuous and cultured progeny means creating good progeny.
1. When should one begin efforts for good progeny ?
Efforts for good progeny should be started before marriage. Each one should select his / her partner after a lot of contemplation. It is difficult to find everything (intelligence, beauty, height, fair complexion etc.) in one person; hence, it is difficult to find an ideal partner who will match your liking. If you wish to have an intelligent child, marry an intelligent partner, even if he is not good looking. Also ensure that there is no family history of hereditary diseases like asthma, diabetes etc.
2. How to select a life partner ?
The guidelines given ahead will help you select your life partner with full contemplation instead of mere physical attraction. Never marry within the same gotra (Lineage) or family / relations. Our physical and mental virtues and defects depend upon the chromosomes from our parents (coming from the sperm & ovum). It is because of common heredity, that people from the same family or relations have similar virtues and defects. By marrying someone from the same gotra, the family defects of both the sides are present in the genes, and this may lead to congenital defects such as brain and heart defects in the newborn. Hence, Hindu tradition suggests that families of life partners not be related for seven generations and not be from the same gotra.
Consider the following points too.
A. Temperament, virtues, defects and personality of the partner.
B. Temperament, virtues, defects & personality of the partner’s parents.
C. The partner’s built, height, complexion and beauty.
D. His / her male and female friends.
E. His / her education and intelligence.
F. His / her likes and dislikes.
G. If your partner or his / her family member has some physical illness, find out if it is hereditary and if there is any possibility of its transmission to the progeny. Seek genetic counselling in such cases.
H. Your aim in life.
I. His / her proficiency and skills in his / her profession of choice.
J. His / her financial status.
K. His / her habits, hobbies and vices.
L. If you have faith in horoscopes, then get them matched too.
Finally, take a decision after giving a comprehensive thought to people as well as their families.
3. What responsibility should be taken in a love marriage ?
Whether it is an arranged or a love marriage, you should finalise your life partner only after considering all the above mentioned points. In an arranged marriage this is the responsibility of parents; however, in a love marriage it is that of the young man and the woman getting married. This is the only difference between the two. In addition to the above mentioned 12 points, points given ahead also need to be considered in a love marriage.
A. Take your parents into confidence and consider their opinion as well.
B. If the life partner is of another nationality or professes another religion or belongs to another caste, then before deciding to marry, the partners should contemplate fully on how their children will be affected in future.
C. If your partner was formerly in love with someone else, then you should meet him / her and get information (about your partner).
D. When selecting a partner, do not take a hasty decision.
4. What care should parents-to-be take of their health ?
If the parents are healthy, the newborn too will be. Before conceiving a child, the partners should take treatment for any existing illness and get cured. To remain healthy, they should have a balanced diet and take tonics if necessary. When the partners are in good health, the sperm and ovum will be healthy and the child born by their union will also be also healthy. A man who wishes to have a child should include plenty of rice, milk and ghee in his diet; while a woman should consume more of udid (Black gram) and sesame seeds. Both require sufficient exercise and rest. In addition, both should be mentally healthy, calm and content.
During menses, the woman should take complete rest and should spend time in chanting and in reading literature written by Saints. The man should behave righteously and chant the Name of the Kuladevata (Family Deity).